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Have you ever said to yourself "why do I do that?"

Every human has habits. Some are from childhood, some are learned behaviors from friends, others are instinctive. Learning new habits may feel strange. You may even find yourself saying "this is wrong."

Just because something is new does not mean it is wrong.

The first step to identify your safe habits and your unhealthy habits is to do a daily journal. When you force your mind to consider whether you have a routine you'll be able to identify chaos from the process. Some people have no routine and hyper-focus on that "squirrel" type reaction. Some are so proactive that limit creativity because you didn't schedule it in.

You need to identify two main groups of habits:

Ones that fall into the boundaries category

Ones that fall into the emotional category

Let's say you have a habit that sounds like this:

"I never finish a project before starting a new one." This might fall into an emotional category. You may have commitment issues. Creating a process from start to finish will help you stay focused instead of getting "excited" about the next thing, which is an emotional response.

Or say you have one that sounds like:

"I always let someone else take that credit for my work." This might fall into a boundaries issue. You will want to establish your team's roles and objectives upfront, reminding everyone which lane they are in and deterring them from veering into others' lanes.

How you manage the two groups:

You will want to handle Emotional Habits with non-emotional solutions. A process that controls you from being wavered by more excitement, discouragement, defeat, boredom or opportunity. A process gets you in the mindset to get something done and then another thing and another thing. It keeps goals new but the process the same. Both feeding your need for something new and causing you to stay the course without distraction.

You will want to handle Boundaries Habits with emotional integration. So for instance you have no control over your team, you have an issue with excreting power, no one listens to your procedures, you don't get enough credit for your work, or you constantly feel offended by others' success. It is important to self-check before you find flaws in your team. You out likely have an insecurity issue or may be experiencing difficulties in your personal life that are bleeding over into your work environment. For example a woman who has an over-controlling husband but over excerpt her authority in the workplace. A man who grew up without a father may lack leadership and needs extreme micromanagement and words of encouragement.

In short for every habit that has you tangled and stunts your growth attempt to integrate the opposite tactic.

Emotional+Non Emotional Structure = Balance

Chaos+Emotional Boundaries = Balance

To process through your journal email us at

-Izzy Gentry

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